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On Hockey Parents & Why I’m Mad As Hell at Exercise Commercials

10/31/2016, 10:00am PDT
By Kelvin

 

I’m tired of commercials advertising quick fixes. 

You know what I’m talking about.  

Magic machines with more attachments, features, and gizmos than a Mr. T wardrobe collection. The shinier and fancier they get, the more they promise to do to transform your body into a Ryan Reynolds clone or a copy of one of those dancers from the Solid Gold programs of the 80’s. (I know, I’m pretty cultured). 

The problem is that these machines are missing a crucial component. 

Your brain. 

Your brain is what chooses to adopt a million responsibilities every winter. Your brain thinks about your responsibilities at work and at home. 

And it’s your brain that will ultimately be responsible for good physical health. And in order to do this, your brain needs time. 

Time to commit to a program. Time to learn simple exercises. Time to improve your form. Time to understand that it will take time to tune both your body and your mind to commit to a lifestyle of health and wellness. 

A fantastical contraption that promises a quick fix is selling you short. 

What Kind of Life Are You Leading?

Here’s the funny thing - every gym of which you could be a member has those machines. The North Shore Winter Club has them, and they work great - but not on their own. 

Do you think you’d be committed to healthy food choices, a balanced intake of treats (like beer), and a positive outlook on the universe as a result of owning a Grandmaster Step-Upper-McSizer 9000 in your basement?

Hell no. 

Magic beans didn’t help Jack once he climbed the beanstalk and they won’t help you tone your abs or turbo-size your bi’s and tri’s.

The beans will help you start the climb, but as soon as you focus too hard on what’s on the other side, you’ll forget how to execute the process of getting there. 

Hand over hand. One step at a time. 

What Kind of Life Do You Want to Lead?

Do you realize what it took those actors on the machines to get to that point? 

Now, by no stretch am I insulting your intelligence by claiming you’ve got a Jazzerciser Deluxe in your digital shopping cart and your finger on the COMPLETE THIS PURCHASE button, but I have seen a lot of people led astray by false promises large and small. 

But here I am sitting on a plane bound for Winnipeg as these commercials continue to pop up between loops of sports highlights. I’ve been in touch with a lot of people from the club in the past week or so as I keep tabs on any peewee team and, truthfully, most of the hockey teams at the club since I know so many players and parents there. Anyways, one of these ridiculous commercials just popped on the screen in front of me, and it got me thinking about hockey parents, their kids, and lifestyle choices. 

So here’s the point: even if you think your kids listen to everyone in the world but you, I’m here to say that the choices you make as a parent are watched closely by your children. 

If you’re looking for a quick fix, your kids will too.

The short road to good health doesn’t exist. It’s long and a lot of it isn’t paved.

The good news? It’s still a nice drive. 

 

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